Saturday, July 26, 2008
9:47 AM
inching closer and closer.
it's getting ever closer to prelims already. yet I have mixed feelings, like on one hand I feel ready, on the other I don't feel ready at all. it's such a conflicting feeling.
so now I'm here to clear off some dust off my blog! =)
monday was nothing really much, just normal lessons as usual.
tuesday was my last tuition session with nandita, my tutor. she's my cousin's ex-classmate in rj and she's really a good maths tutor. I got back my confidence for maths after she guided me along, and I used to hate maths so much last time. she's already flown off to the states for uni studies. god bless you and may you have a wonderful time in US! =D
wednesday was a rather slack-off day, even though chem required alot of writing for horrible nitrogen compounds chapter. god i so hate that chapter because I don't have bio background and it makes understanding more complicated. T.T studied with mayching after school, and getting stressed over killer econs mock prelim. but she is great company indeed, one of the few ppl in school who never fails to make my day and a great study buddy as well. =D went running with her around 5plus and we tried running 2.4km. our timing sucks like shit.
thursday was econs mock prelim, needless to say GP tutorial was spent on mugging econs again, while valiantly trying NOT to fall asleep. just as well cos mdm azah wasn't in school that day. half my day and all my breaks were spent on reading killer econs, it didn't help that my brain felt extremely saturated with econs info, extremely heavy and extremely tired. tired to the extent that my mental thinking power slowed down considerably.
lucky econs mock wasn't as bad as I expected. was happy the moment I saw market structure and elasticity of demand, cos I have abit more confidence for these 2 micro chapters. but seriously, 26 econs chapters crammed in a week is very tiring. and what I read always seems to be forgotten after a while. =(
doesn't help that chem paper 2 and econs paper 2(essays) are on the same day for BOTH prelims and 'A's. OMG. =(
friday was a snore. maths was going through regression. while mr sia was halfway through going through the chapter I already started doing the revision exercise behind. helps to keep writing because at least you won't fall asleep during lessons. phys was doing data-analysis. chem was organic chem again. boring thing. econs was a total snore. I kept nodding off during tutorial, and I nearly fell flat on my table as well. so what I resorted to was sms-ing and playing my handphone games to keep myself from falling asleep. what's more it was so cold as well. didn't help that it was raining the entire day and thus the air-cons blasted freezing air. shivered like crazy during chem tut, marginally less so for econs. T.T
didn't go for maths US either, felt too tired and sick. stupid cold and blocked nose. it makes studying a misery. =(
anyway, de-stress tactic! =D going to meet shihui for lunch at sakura later. =D can't wait to enjoy. =)
my mood for the day-emo.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
12:08 AM
mock prelims week(s)
maths mock prelim paper 1 today. not as horrible as expected, but still alot of marks gone. damn. =(
and there's econs mock prelims next week, and maths mock prelims paper 2 the week after next.
say hello to more stress, and to staying up late again for days on end. =\
it's been quite a tiring few days, no thanks to maths, maths and more maths. talk about maddening maths. and soon I'd be staring down at evil econs.
what's more, red bull doesn't help at all, despite the fact that it really kept me alert. it gave me terrible heartburn and a not-so-good night's sleep, and the subsequent result the next day was that I felt extremely half-dead.
anyway, I've been feeling a bit disoriented lately, partly fuelled by insufficient sleep and last-minute cramming for mock prelims and for the actual prelims and 'A's.
it's hard to shake off that feeling of unease whenever you feel that you can't achieve something, even though you've been working really hard for it. and unfortunately for me, I feel I'm the kind of person who gets affected easily when I hear various comments.
sometimes ignorance is really the best policy. being ignorant sometimes is in a way equivalent to prevent yourself from getting emotionally hurt.
many times, I feel like I want to just throw everything-mainly studies aside for a short period of time and just really slack off. though now it's killer 'A's year, it's hard not to neglect your books. if your books are neglected for too long it means you're prepared to flunk 'A's. badly.
ohwell. enough of grumbling. I'm so going to grit my teeth and battle this out to the end.
断了的弦-周杰伦断了的弦再怎么连
我的感觉你已听不见
你的转变像断掉的弦
再怎么接音都不对
你的改变我能够分辨
我沉默你的话也不多
我们之间少了什么不说
哎哟我笑后
表情终于有点难过握着你的手
问你决定了再走
我突然释怀的笑笑声盘旋半山腰
随风在飘摇啊摇来到你的面前绕
你泪水往下的掉说会记住我的好
我也弯着我嘴角笑
你的美已经给了谁
追了又追我要不回
我了解离开树的叶
属于地上的世界凋谢
断了的弦再弹一遍
我的世界你不在里面
我的指尖已经弹出茧
还是无法留你在我身边
断了的弦再怎么连
我的感觉你已听不见
你的转变像断掉的弦
再怎么接音都不对
你的改变我能够分辨
this song kind of reflects my mood these days somehow.
I feel kind of emo these days as well.
I want to talk to him for ages but I lack the courage to do so. I get so tongue-tied around him but when I see him outside of school he can be very nice. he's the kind of guy who can be very nice but can also be extremely irritating at times.
ah well. heck. I'd try not to let this affect me so much. get my work done first.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
11:39 AM
study until you go nuts. =O
no kidding, it's been tiring these days.
econs test on friday, I wrote until my hand wants to fall off again. it always happens during an econs test. and you can see the handwriting change. from small and relatively neat to big, messy and almost unreadable. go figure. lol.
I studied with mayching earlier this week in school, wednesday if i'm not wrong. then she showed me her lit paper and I showed her my econs one. and we both laughed at my super atrocious handwriting at the last part of the paper. and her lit paper was like wow too. 3 essays in 3 hours. I think mine is worse for econs p1. 3 essays in 2h15min omfg.
hit je library again yesterday morning, and I met shihui and grace. didn't know they were coming to study too haha. so we sat at the benches together, complained about leg cramps, got some maths done, laughed ourselves stupid about school happenings.
laughter really is the best medicine for a stressful week. =D
going off to finish up econs tutorial, get some gp and chem done. =)
maths mock prelim coming up too, and more maths to practise zzz. =\
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
5:43 PM
mixed feelings
I'm currently in a slight state of shock, and I don't know what to feel exactly today because of chem common test results.
only 4 people in s34 passed, and I'm one of the lucky 4. for that I'm happy. but I'm upset also because the grade is EXTREMELY horrible, as I only just scraped through. the marks for those who passed were rather.. I also don't know how to describe.put it this way, the highest was 77% overall, then the 2nd was 56, then after that was 50.
I saw the marks list and I was like absolutely stunned.
I told cherie and hema about this after that, though at seperate times, and both of them said the same thing LOL.
'Income Disparity'
I think only those who take econs might understand this term haha.
omg I really couldn't help laughing like crazy when they said that, and what was more, they both said the same thing. it was as though there was telepathy between them HAHAHA xD
and I think my feelings are also in a slight jumble these days too. one moment I was thinking about someone, the next moment I saw that someone in front of me. I don't know if it was coincidence or what, but I was pleasantly surprised, yet feeling abit shy at the same time though I didn't really show it on the surface.
ohwell. let things be. let what's meant to be occur. =)
Sunday, July 06, 2008
12:45 PM
another week gone, another one coming up ahead. and it's youth day tml, meaning no school, meaning more time to sleep in, and more time to catch up. =)
how nice it is to have long weekends. =D
I passed GP! =) though the grade is extremely sucky and the class highest isn't
exactly impressive either. =(
and I passed chem P1 too, though I just somehow scraped through, and once again, alot of failures. =\
ohwell. what to expect? except by working hard then it's possible to do even better. =)
and it's time to stare at econs too, got test on friday. =\
hit je library yesterday once again to study, then one woman who was sharing the table with me asked me how it was like in studying, asking me what school I'm in and all that. and her daughter was there too, and I just explained about how it's like in jc, and how not-so-easy it is.
went jp to meet my mum for dinner after that, then while we were living someone called out my name, then I saw it was justinian, 4/6 classmate. it's been damn long since I last saw him, at mr g's wedding if i'm not wrong.
ok, it's not exactly that long, but I feel it's damn long since being so involved in studies and all makes time fly super fast. seriously.
something happened on friday after school but I won't post it up here as it's quite a sensitive thing that happened, and I can't blame my friend for feeling upset at another guy for his nonsense. because I myself also can't stand this guy, with all his nonsense and super childish behaviour, which is something that I absolutely detest in guys. my friend swore me to secrecy, so yeah.
Labels: updates
