Sunday, May 27, 2007
12:21 PM
unusual feelings.
I realise that somehow or other, I have developed a kind of resistance to some guys I know. it's probably because of the extremely deep hurt I suffered recently with a special someone.. and the terrific blow to my heart didn't do me any good either, I got really sick as a result, I cried until it seemed like I had no tears left.
this is what my friend asked me recently..
friend: how would you react if ***** says that he likes you?
me: omg. I'll freak out and.. reject him on the spot?
cos for me I just feel that way. he might be a nice guy and all, but he just isn't my kind at all. not to say that he's bad and all that. but really, if a guy is nice to you but he just isn't your type of guy, there's really no point going into a relationship. both parties would only get hurt in the process.
it's really a weird feeling that's been in me for quite awhile, and I only just realised this recently when I subconsciously realised that I had this feeling about some guys. and it's not that they aren't bad or what. it's if they ever say that they have feelings for me, I would seriously freak out. and I mean seriously freak out.
is it just me having high expectations? my friends say that my criteria is quite basic.. good looking, at least must be taller than me, kind-hearted, sweet, easy-going, smart, friendly, understanding. no doubt there are better guys out there, but the feeling of not being accepted by someone you like is really, really sad and nothing you say helps at this point in time. words might be comforting in text, but it's your heart that bears the terrible burden of heartache and the tears just seem to flow unchecked at this point in time.